The Challenges of Forgiveness

Forgiveness can be challenging for several reasons. Sometimes forgiveness can be confused with condoning what someone has done to us: “That’s OK. Why not do it again?” Even people who understand the difference between accepting someone's bad behavior as "okay" and accepting that it happened and one must let go of anger to move forward, forgiveness can be difficult because these two are easily confused.

 

Forgiveness could also be difficult when the person who wronged us doesn’t seem to deserve it. It feels like we are letting them "off the hook" when they are the one who wronged us. While this feeling is completely understandable, it's vital to remember that forgiveness allows us to let go of a connection we have to those who have wronged us and move forward--with or without them. It’s hard to remember that forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the one who is forgiven.

 

Ultimately, forgiveness is especially challenging because it’s hard to let go of what’s happened. It can be really difficult to accept some things in life. Forgiving someone who has committed unacceptable behavior can be difficult when we are having trouble letting go of anger about the events and accepting what happened to us.